Five months.
A lot can change in five months. Summer passed. A new school year has begun. Friends drift apart. People leave… Things have changed. I’ve changed.
It’s funny how things play out the way they do. Looking back, I never thought that I would have gone through what I did. Heck. Looking back, I never would have thought that I would make it through what I went through. But I glad that I went through it anyway.
Regret? Maybe. There are things that I did and said that I wish I could take back, but I can’t. But more than that, the things that happened sort of "forced" me to take a good look at who I was and what I was becoming. And it was only then that I saw that I was surrounded by a love like no other. I never saw it then. I knew it was there, but I never saw it. But now I know.
Sometimes I wish I could let everyone see the difference in me. I wish I could take the time to look each of them in the eye and show them. I wish I could apologize for the things I did. I wish I could tell them that I’ve forgiven. I wish they could see me now. But I know that’s not up to me. Someday, they will see.
I just want to finally leave the past behind. Everything. This is me just starting over. Clean slate. My best friend can afford for me to do so anyway. That’s exactly what He came here for, isn’t it?
So, here I am. Different. Things may still not be as it was, but I know better now. I know myself more. I know my Him more. I’m more secure, more patient, more understanding, less judgmental. I know who my true friends are. Definitely more loving because I’ve seen what that truly means. Different. I’m not who I was. This is me now. And I’m liking it.
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